65 days and counting. I have not actually secured my ticket yet, but I will very shortly.

I am eager to.

Jeff left this morning and is heading back home…yes, home to New York City. I never thought I would be so anxious to go back to place I had already been, but I am. It defies the notion of ‘global nomadisim’, but that’s ok. I’m ready.

My brief affair with China, the yearning for exploration and the passion for being submerged in the middle-kingdom, is merely a passing experience in the thousands of experiences that make up my life. The wanderlust for travel in my soul will never be quenched, but living here for the last 9 months has satisfied the need to live abroad.

I have realized that traveling, living in a new country, starting over, is only truly exciting if you have nothing to leave or are hiding from something. It is the ultimate escape and the ultimate clean slate. Disappearing in another country, changing your name, being someone or something totally different is at your finger tips. Each new place is like being able to create a new you, free from baggage, memories, and mistakes. For me, there was a point when the anonymity and solitude of a foreign country would have been a welcome silence to the screams of my past. Now, I want to do just the opposite. I want to run back to my past, escape into the life I left behind.

I loved my life in New York, but curiosity and my devotion to Chinese won. I took a risk I will never regret. A risk that I would lose everything…my friends, Jeff, opportunities, missed experiences, and irreplaceable time. I won some and lost some, but in the end, it has turned out well. I am ‘fluent’ in Mandarin and I have done what few will ever do.

Its time to go back. It is time to return to where I belong; NYC.

For me, what keeps me traveling is my curiosity, the unknown factor, the destination’s secrets. Visiting, passing through only gives a sneak peak of the superficial differences of a new location and culture. Living here has unraveled the mystery of China and shown me the hidden truth; it’s not so different from my life in New York, but with out my boyfriend, family, friends, and luxuries of America. In the end, it’s the people, the events, and the accessibility to your favorite things that make a place worth being in. Without these, Shenzhen has become an inadequate substitute for my home.

Being a tourist, and living somewhere are two totally different worlds. Being a tourist is so impermanent that you can have the fun and excitement without the overkill. The secrets of the destination are not revealed and the normalcy of life remains hidden from view. It is exotic, new, and totally different from the life you took a break from. Truth be told, in the end, it wouldn’t be that different. The location might change, the scenery might vary, but life is life and you remain who you are despite your best effort to be someone else temporarily.

My friend Liz told me you that you learn a lot about yourself here. She is 100% correct, I have learned a lot, I have learned one of the greatest things a person can; the place, without a shadow of a doubt, where I belong